In the Spirit of Jonathan Swift…..I have my own Modest Proposal


, , , , , , , , ,

The first school shooting dates back to 1764.

Since then, there have been over 100.

Since 2000, there have been well over 100 deaths resulting from school shootings.

There have also been countless school threats.

School shooters and those who threaten have a profile.

They’re bullied.
Their guns come from their homes.
They’re male.
They’re white. (97%)

What is wrong with white families? When will they start to teach their kids to not act like this? Where are the fathers? It’s all that hunting; they transfer that violence!

And white mothers….well I’m sorry but you need to have a talk with your sons. Tell them not to shoot up schools. Teach them some respect.

And you know so many of the children killed were white? Why do white people kill their own? GEEZ guys if you want to stop school violence you must stop killing each other.

You know what else? Most of these school shootings happen in predominantly white schools! Again white people why do you let your kids ruin their own schools…..Schools you paid for with your tax dollars?

I also saw how you acted when Joe Paterno was fired. You guys tore up Penn State. You were so angry that the university fired a man who let little boys get raped in his locker room. How dare they fire JoePa? So you rioted! Damn you guys come on do better.

Oh and let’s not forget how you people behave after your teams win or lose. Just shameful.

And another thing….serial killers. Mostly white men. Gosh you people are violent!

And white collar criminals? Mostly white men. DAMN!!! You people have it on lock?!?! You start ’em young too!!!

This has to be a result of the white family not being a driving force in this society. I see so many white kids hit their parents, tell their parents to shut up and even curse their parents. I see white kids sagging super skinny jeans….growing their bangs out to cover their faces. See…..this is why young white people make me nervous. Anybody that hits their parent is a scary scary person…..deranged even. And a kid in sagging skinny jeans and long bangs just makes me want to go hide. They just look so dangerous. It’s not my fault I’m afraid. They bring it on themselves. The statistics don’t lie.

White people you all need to work on yourselves. Work on your community. You can be anything you want to be. Your children don’t have to be school shooters, you don’t have to serial killers or hedge fund thieves. Be a productive citizen. Get an education. Put down the guns, step away from the serial killer van, leave that insider trading alone.

I’m not a racist. This is just the truth.

As a bonus, I’ve included a few hashtags to kick off your movement:



….More Than Ferguson


, , , , , , , , ,

Nigger bitch
Black bitch (this one really stings…not sure why)

I’ve been called every single one.

Roni you’re pretty for a black girl.
I like dark meat.
I heard y’all are really wild in bed.

Someone said those things to me….all three of those uttered right here in Pearland ISD. (Just an FYI….all three of those coaches {#shotsfired} got a ‘fuck you’ {sorry momma})

I could keep going, but the point is that I truly believe those are small minded people. Not a system.

But instead let’s address the system. Not necessarily law enforcement, but a system that is a pipeline for law enforcement.


Right here in Texas, not #Ferguson, data was taken from all students who entered 7th grade in 2002 through their graduation. These were not surveys or interviews, but pure reporting data. In those numbers, 80% of all black boys and 70% of Hispanic boys received some sort of suspension before they graduated. They were suspended for doing as much as or less than their white male counterparts.

That’s a system.
That’s why I go hard in the paint for my son at school.
I know the system.

In those suspended boys numbers, 30% will have some encounter with law enforcement. That contact typically occurs when these boys would’ve been, should’ve been in school.

That’s a system.
There are other systems.
Law enforcement.

Far too often, black  and brown people are the underbelly of those systems.

Somedays I don’t know who to be angry at. A system with no face and no name? Or the small minded people, who no doubt make up the system, that look me in my face and pet my hair like I’m a puppy. (They like to say, ‘but I just like your hair that’s why I touch it’…..I want to say, ‘well I like your man’s butt should I touch it?’)

#LemmeTellYaLikeThisHere ….. I ain’t obedient and I don’t do tricks and I sure as hell won’t lie down.

I’ve long been a proponent of having conversations about race, and I still am. But if we want to get real, let’s talk about and work on and vote for better systems!!!

©2014 Roni Dean Burren



, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lumping peaceful protesters in with looters makes you part of the problem in Ferguson.

Forgetting that people looted when Joe Paterno, a person who knew children were being raped in his locker rooms, was fired makes you part of the problem in Ferguson.

Needing to tell the world you’re not a racist every time someone brings up race makes you part of the problem in Ferguson.

Teaching your kids to not see color makes you part of the problem in Ferguson. (Teach them instead to see color, appreciate the differences, and transcend color)

If you think the happenings in Ferguson are isolated and that black folks need to just let it go, that makes you part of the problem in Ferguson.

Finally, if you fail to recognize the disparity between the treatment of black people versus that of white people, well, that not only makes you part of the problem, but it makes you guilty of perpetuating the system of racism.

So I pronounce you guilty!

Maybe Your Jesus Sucks


, , , , , , , , , ,

Shakespeare said the quality of mercy is unstrained. And I say the quality of tragedy is unstrained. It is indiscriminate and undiluted. Its pall unadulterated. Yet I see people attempting to temper tragedy by comparing it to another. They want one to seem small. They want the other to be magnified. They can’t be concerned about both. They say they are, but their ultimate goal is to discredit one tragedy by comparing it to another. The truth of the matter is comparing tragedies never works. In the wake of Mike Brown shooting, I’m yet again jolted. I can’t help but see the face of my son in Mike Brown. I’m currently teaching my son to drive and I hate that I feel compelled to tell him to be “super good” as he drives around our ultra white community. My heart can’t comprehend what Mike Brown’s family feels. He was unarmed. He was a good kid. I’m sure the media has found a thuggish looking moment in his life as proof positive that he was just another criminal, but in actuality his major crime wasn’t even his doing. That’s because his most egregious sin is being black. That makes me weep. All the marching, all the legislation, all the strange fruit hanging from tragic trees and still black boys’ lives are in perpetual peril. Every day. And it stings even more because the vast variety of white America thinks black boys should just “look” less menacing, and the problem will be solved. Police officers, thick as thieves they can be, defend each other until the bloody end. And lastly, the media searches out the scariest social media selfies of the victims, and deems these coffee colored boys villainous. That’s a tragedy that scares me, keeps me up at night and on my knees. On Monday, the tremendously funny Robin Williams was found dead in his home. The 63 year old father, husband, friend and comedic genius suffered from depression. Earlier this year, he voluntarily checked himself into a rehab in order to maintain his sobriety. Translation, he was reaching out of his depression looking for something, some reason to hold on. He didn’t find that thing to hold on to, and as a result, he took his own life. Tragic. He leaves behind a daughter, a wife and plenty of fans. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine how much you love your father, mother, sister, brother, husband and that love still not be enough? With all that love, they could still feel like all hope was lost. Can you imagine the desperation he felt in those moments before he met the end? Can you imagine what his daughter felt like when she got the news? His wife? They are heartbroken by this tragedy. They will miss him forever, and the painful part is that with all the money they had, they couldn’t pull him out of that pit of darkness. Depression is that indeed, a pit of darkness that many can’t get out of. The stigma attached to mental illness, make climbing out of the pit nearly impossible. So many people are fighting that fight. Every day. Although the world says it wants to help people with mental illness, it really forces those people into further into the shadows. Mental illness is indiscriminant. It can strike anyone, anywhere or any place. That’s a tragedy that scares me, keeps me up at night and on my knees.

It’s the proverbial rock and a hard place; the senseless killing of yet another black boy, and the senseless loss of another person to mental illness. Both are sad. Both hurt.

How do we weigh them?

The Mike Brown tragedy is sadder because he was a kid.

No the Robin Williams tragedy is more sad because he committed suicide.

No the Mike Brown tragedy is more sad because he was innocent.

No the Robin Williams tragedy is sadder because he tried to fight the depression but lost.

Nothing works. No weighing, measuring, tempering or parceling out makes either tragedy worse than the other. So why do people do it? Why do they feel the need to make one sadness sadder than the other?

I’m led to the 15th chapter of Luke. I call this the parable of the losses. Jesus gives three parables, the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son. Jesus never says the coin matters more, or the sheep, or the son. Why? Because each loss was tremendous for the person experiencing loss.

In light of both losses, Mike Brown and Robin Williams, dear Christian friend, try to be like the real Jesus….the one who suffers WITH whoever is grieving.

But for some of my good ol’ Christian brothers and sisters……….I wonder how your Jesus would feel about you minimizing someone’s battle with depression. I wonder how your Jesus would feel about you saying that little black boys need to look less menacing and they won’t have to worry about getting shot. I wonder how your Jesus would feel about you saying you don’t give two shits about “another” celebrity dying. I wonder how your Jesus would feel about you turning a blind eye to continued police violence against black boys.

If your Jesus is ok with any of those sentiments, then your Jesus sucks!

Rick Perry….NOT like a BOSS


, , , , , , , , , ,

This morning I’m ashamed of who runs the great state of Texas. Governor Rick Perry, I’ll call him Rick Flare since he has a thing for showing off, in the vein of Jan Brewer, the governor of Arizona who pointed her raggedy finger in President Obama’s face, Rick Flare refused to meet the president at the Austin Airport today.

He said, “I appreciate the offer to greet you at Austin-Bergstrom Airport, but a quick handshake on the tarmac will not allow for a thoughtful discussion regarding the humanitarian and national security crises enveloping the Rio Grande Valley in South Texas,” he wrote. “I would instead offer to meet with you at any time during your visit to Texas for a substantive meeting to discuss this critical issue. With the appropriate notice, I am willing to change my schedule to facilitate this request.”

Oh and don’t you know right wingers are applauding Perry. Never mind that during the GOP primaries, all of them saw how dumb he was!!!! But now, as he’s attempting to reinvent himself for 2016, his party is so proud of him.

I could go on forever about Rick Flare’s refusal to meet the President of the United, and how shitty I think his little statement is, but instead I thought I’d list some other things Rick Flare has refused:

1. He refused to expand Medicaid in Texas. “Perry has contributed to this attitude by arguing that uninsured Texans can receive health care in emergency rooms. “Everyone in the state of Texas has access to health care, everyone in America has access to health care,” In essence, Perry says, if you don’t have healthcare, just use the ER! Yes? Because the uninsured can afford ER costs…..hell I’m insured and the ER is for like when my kids are bleeding from their eyes!!!! {Source:}

2. He refused to comply with an anti-rape law. The law in question is actually an anti-prison rape law. [The] 2003 federal Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA), a law Congress passed unanimously and George W. Bush [was] signed in 2003. Most of what the law has done so far is collect data on sexual victimization in prison, which had never been collected before. More recently, the Department of Justice has issued standards for prisons and jails, including limiting when guards of the opposite sex see prisoners naked or pat them down and prohibiting invasive searches of transgender prisoners. In another lil shitty letter, this time to Attorney General Eric Holder, Gov. Flare said, “I will not sign your form and I will encourage my fellow governors to follow suit.” Wow! What a terrible way to flex your muscles. At the expense of prisoners….does that make him a tough guy? I guess so since he said he didn’t really flinch about 200+ executions he oversaw, oh and research his role in the Cameron Todd Willingham execution. He’s a disgrace! {Source:}

3. He refused to stand for LGBT people across the state. “Perry was staunch defender of Texas’ unconstitutional anti-sodomy law which criminalized the private consensual sexual behavior of adults. After the U.S. Supreme Court’s 2003 ruling in Lawrence v. Texas, Perry called ban “appropriate,” and blasted the Court decision as the result of “nine oligarchs in robes.” As a presidential candidate, he ran a shockingly anti-gay ad, blasting open service by gay and lesbian members of the Armed Services as part of President Obama’s “war on religion.” He vocally opposed the Boy Scouts of America’s half-measure allowing openly gay Scouts but not leaders, claiming the tiny step “contradicts generations of tradition in the name of political correctness. Even in [a] speech he proudly boasted that Texas had defended “the sanctity of marriage” by writing discrimination into the state’s constitution. {Source:}

4. He refused to take care of teachers in Texas. Under Rick Flare TRS (teacher retirement system) lost 99 million dollars. Of course there’s a political cover up involved. After an internal memo was released, Flare interfered with the investing, and eventually said, I’m paraphrasing, “there’s nothing to see here people.” {Source: Varied}

So before we get to calling Rick Perry a BOSS for his laughable memo to the POTUS, let’s not forget that he pretty much sucks as a governor. That ain’t BOSSY!

Oh and don’t forget in November. Let’s turn Texas Blue!!!!

Closet Racist


, , , , ,

Mostly because I am scary, and I hate being in or near and crowd of people (I have slight fear, ok a big fear, of being trampled to death).

Hell, if I had to get on elevator with a whole lot of grandmas I’d be nervous…..I’d say, “I’ll take the next one!”

What I think disturbs me is this veiled defense of Sterling. I feel like Cuban is saying, “well we’ve all said some bad stuff so let’s not judge each other.” And in my liberal mind, I can agree with that, but my bleeding heart has the issue. I believe that people, like Cuban, and others who felt Sterling was speaking in private, so it’s somehow less bad, want permission to be closet racists. They will never come out and defend Sterling…..never….no way, that’s social suicide. They will, however, say, “but it was a private conversation and I’d hate to for the world to hear my private conversations.”

That statement is loaded with connotative meaning.

I think people are saying, “Hey look….I’m a lil bit racist at home and if you heard me, you’d cringe, and I have a right to be a lil racist as long as it’s in private, and nobody can hear me, and so I can’t really be all the way totally mad at Sterling because you know, well I talk about the Mexicans and the gays and the blacks and the Jews and the Muslims, OH but my best friend is black!” (ok I just threw that last part in because everyone who defends their racist’s tendencies has a black best friend.)

I have one thing to say on that…………STOP SAYING RACIST SHIT!!!

Like for real! Just stop! Don’t say it in public. Don’t say it in private. Don’t say it on a plane. Don’t say it on a train.

Mark Cuban is right, we all have biases. But instead talking about them, examine yourself.  Ask yourself why a group of black boys makes you nervous? Ask yourself why a tatted up bald white man makes you nervous. But for Christ’s sake, stop sitting around spewing your hate! Examine your thoughts…..examine your life.

Socrates said, “an unexamined life is not worth living.” So either examine yourself, or we’ll kill you!

The Michael Sam Kiss…..My Wrap Up


, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m just tripping on y’all trippin about that Michael Sam kiss. I mean I’m close to going out and buying y’all some capes, because y’all are SUPER MAD.

But here is what I can’t let abide.

Y’all ain’t eeen much mad over the right stuff.

Oh and black folks…..shaking my head!

I get really upset when African-Americans get upset over the “gay agenda”, whatever that is.  I know you all hate to have gay rights compared to equal rights.  I think they’re the same, but I won’t go into that here.  Instead, I will talk about what really needs to have people in an uproar.

Eight of the top ten 2014 draft picks are African-American. That’s 80%.  Seven out of eight of those young men either grew up poor, or he was raised by a single mother.

The breakdown:

#1 Pick: Jadeveon Clowney – single mother

#2 Pick: Greg Robinson – grew up in poverty

#4 Pick: Sammy Watkins – single mother

#7 Pick: Mike Evans – single mother and is a single father

#8 Pick: Justin Gilbert – single mother

#9 Pick: Anthony Barr – raised by single mother for the most part (grandparents helped too)

#10 Pick: Eric Ebron – single mother

Hmmmm…..but people are mad over a Michael Sam kiss.

You’re not mad that a vast number of black children, some figures suggest 70%, are being raised by single parents. (What’s really sad is that many of you don’t know why this is a huge deal.)

And you mad over Michael Sam’s kiss?

Black boys read, and write at a significantly lower level than their white counterparts.

But you mad over Michael Sam’s kiss?

More boys in our society, black and white, are perpetuating rape culture…they think they’re supposed to get it.

But you mad over Michael Sam’s kiss.

The educational achievement gap is growing. Steadily.  Meaning: black children continue….you hear me?! CONTINUE to perform below their white counterparts.

But you mad over Michael Sam’s kiss.

This is the hypocrisy that drives me bonkers. Too many people, black folks especially, are getting all bent out of shape over Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend.  You stand up, and decry that the media is forcing this on you.  You say you’re not a bigot and that you love everybody, but this is just what you believe. PUUUUHLEEEZE…..miss me on that.  Ok no, don’t miss me.  Let me address that. You believe being gay is sin. Yes? You take to your Facebook and Twitter to tell the world about this SIN you hate.  I could almost live with that if you were consistent! But you aren’t. I don’t hear you talking about any other sins.  I don’t hear you telling the world that a father walking out on their kids is a sin.  I don’t hear you denouncing the proliferation of premarital sex.  I don’t see you discussing the sin of lust.  And I ain’t never ever heard you discuss the sin of divorce.

Bigger than all of those silences, is your own silence about your own sins. You say your outrage is based on the fact that being gay is sin. You ain’t got one? It ain’t no sin that you just keep on and keep on and keep on doing? You lying if you say no, because some of you MARRIED folks reading this blog STAY in my inbox, talm’bout let me take you somewhere. #boybye  Some of you can’t stay off them porn sites.  You log on every single day, lusting for some girl-on-girl action.  Some of you are simply addicted to something. That’s a sin too. Yet, you are so silent on your own sins.  Silent on your own struggles, but quick as lightening to tell the world that you hate someone else’s sin.

Now I’m finta’ preach……

When I stand before my Father in Heaven, I want to say this: Lord, I didn’t always do right. I didn’t always say what was right.  I didn’t always have the right thoughts.  And I even stepped outside of Your sovereign for my life. But, Lord, when gay people, Christian or not, were being persecuted, I didn’t stay silent Lord. I told people, with a sincere heart, and strong words, that the greatest commandment was NOT judgment, but love.



9 Ways to Appreciate a Teacher (ALL YEAR)


, , , , , , ,

It’s Teacher Appreciation Week, so I thought I’d share some ways you can show appreciation all year long!  I’ve listed these in order of importance……least to greatest!

9. Make a window

So many teachers have windowless rooms. To add insult to injury, many don’t get to leave their rooms during the day. If your child’s teacher has a windowless room, take some butcher paper, and creativity and make her a pretend window.

8. Order lunch

Much like the windowless classroom, teachers often have a lunchless day. Now, to be clear, by lunchless, I mean many teachers have to inhale their lunch, eat nasty cafeteria food, or bring their sad little sandwich from home. Many teachers long to have a real lunch….you know hot, freshly prepared food. Find out where your child’s teacher likes to eat and order them lunch and drop it off. To really make it nice, don’t say who it’s from.

7. Ask for homework

Teachers have an endless amount of tasks to complete. It is nearly impossible to get them all done, and still have a life. Here’s where you come in. Email your child’s teacher every two weeks, and ask him what “homework” you can do for him. Ask him to send it with your child, and you’ll cut, paste, glue or organize whatever!

6. Coffee

Buy. Her. Starbucks.

5. Believe them

I’ve never met a teacher who was out to get kids. I’ve met stern ones, loose ones, funny ones and serious ones, but never one who said, I’m out to get kids. That doesn’t mean they’re all great (I’ll address this one later), but when the teacher says your little Johnny did x, y and z, believe them first. The best way to educate your children, is to show them that you AND the teacher are on the SAME team.

4. Vote Smart   

All political candidates say they are “for” education, and “for” teachers. However, many of the policies they support work against teachers. Find your local teacher’s union, and figure out which gubernatorial or presidential candidate they are endorsing. Please vote for those people! You hate high stakes testing? So do teachers! But those tests are a direct result of politics! Remember testing is big business, and Pearson, the people that write the Texas (STAAR), and Florida (FCAT) state assessments are big lobbyists.

3. Question them

Questions are a good thing. Don’t ever be afraid to ask your child’s teacher a question about why they do what they do, what your child is supposed to learn and what his or her expectations are. They are educators, which mean they like school, which also means they like questions. Teachers like explaining because for the most part, they love what they do, and there is a reason behind every single assignment. When you come to a teacher, and ask about a project, an assignment or even a directive, it lets them know you’re interested, and it allows the teacher to show you his thinking. This will also help you cull out the bad apples…..when a teacher can’t explain the why…..well…..Houston we have a problem.

2. Read and Write

Your children will never buy in to literacy if they don’t see you engaged in literacy. Kids read and write in every single subject, so if they have a reading problem, they have a math, science, and social studies problem as well. But if you’re expecting your child’s teacher to be soley responsible for teaching your kids to read and write well, then you’re going to be a sad person. The task of teaching kids to be good readers, and writers is vast. It can’t just be done by the teacher. Read and write with your kids at home. This may be the single most appreciative thing you can do for your child’s teacher.

1. Don’t Bash

Until you’ve spent 1,309 hours with someone else’s kids, don’t bash teachers. I could write for twenty years about all the difficulties of the job. I won’t, because most teachers absolutely love what they do. And save for Teacher Appreciation Week, it’s often a thankless job. Teachers don’t need parents who take to Facebook, or the parking lot, or the PTA meeting to bash teachers. They need the benefit of the doubt, because often times than not, they are doing a great job. They’re spending time coaching, teaching, training, coaxing, begging, and loving your kids. It’s hard work. It’s demanding work. Don’t burn them at the stake for that. Celebrate them.


25 Responses to 25 Ways to Communicate Respect


, , , , ,

An article entitled 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband (without ever uttering a word) by Jennifer Flanders popped up on my newsfeed about a month ago.  I read it, and it ran all up and down me.  I was so disturbed by what the author wrote.  It literally made me scream SHUT UP at my laptop!

I’m just as saved as she is. I love my husband as much as she loves hers. But this list was so ridiculous, I had to have an equally ridiculous response.

  1. Choose joy: Ok I can do this.
  2. Honor his wishes: I wish I would. He better wish what I wish!
  3. Give him your undivided attention: Ok let me get the baby off my boob. Let me get the toddler on and off the potty. Oh and let me go tee-tee because I haven’t been since the baby woke up at 4 am. Or…let me get off my own 8-5 and pick the kids up and do their homework with them….ok babe I’s a lissinnen!!!
  4. Don’t interrupt: Well Bae don’t say nothing stupid and I’ll stay quiet…like a good wife.
  5. Emphasize his good points: Well Bae didn’t say nothing stupid in #4
  6. Pray for him: LAWD gawdt please don’t let him get hold of the original list cuz LAWD he might get to feelin’ some type of way…and LAWD that ain’t gon’ be good fa’ ya boy….AMEN!
  7. Don’t nag: Well Bae do what I ask the first time!
  8. Be thankful: Thank you for wine LAWD….it keeps us married.
  9. Smile at him: Does laughing count?
  10. Respond physically: So when I bend over to load the dishwasher and he decides to press himself all up on me, does elbowing him count has a physical response?
  11. Eyes only for him: Can’t nobody make me roll my eyes like you Bae.
  12. Kiss him goodbye: YES….I got this one….I’m so happy when he leaves!
  13. Prepare his favorite foods: He likes PB&J for Sunday dinner and I makes a MEAN sammich
  14. Cherish togetherness: I like this one. I can’t even much clown.
  15. Don’t complain: Bae don’t give me nothing to complain about and I can totally do this!
  16. Resist the urge to correct: *BIG LOUD OBNOXIOUS SIGH* well Bae stop being wrong and I won’t correct you!
  17. Dress to please him: Bae likes sweats and flip flops….if he doesn’t I DOES not care.
  18. Keep the house tidy: Oh this is just my job? Not both of ours?
  19. Be content: I can’t even address this statement. I mean what does that mean really. Girl bye!
  20. Take his advice: Bae what do you advise I do when you tap dancing on my last nerve?
  21. Admire him: Bae I really do admire the way you leave parts of your lunch in your beard. Such adoration.
  22. Protect his name: Why yes! I really like this one! His name is my name and my children’s name…I gotcha Bae! And this lines up with the crazy “Nene Leakes” that I have in me….keep our names out of your mouth!
  23. Forgive his shortcomings:  Ok
  24. Don’t argue: Not ok! I’m really good at this.
  25. Follow his lead: But where we going Bae? How long is it gon’ take? Is there gas in my car? Let’s take a short cut this way is too long!


Perhaps the most disgusting part of this advice list is her question at the end.  She says, “Did you hate this post? Then my book would make a great gag gift for feminist friends.”  Clearly she sees feminism as a direct opposition to being a Christian wife.  In fact, nothing is further from the truth. Feminism is the advocating of social, political, legal and economic rights for women equal to those of men.  How does that not line up with Christianity, or being a Godly wife…or husband? It does not! The God I serve is a feminist…..I’m sure of that.

The problem is that this article is one sided and superficial. Marriage is so much deeper than this.  If you have real issues, dressing up, responding physically, and keeping the house tidy won’t fix them.  This article comes from a good place but falls painfully short of advice.


My Same Sex Marriage Wrap Up


, ,

The marriage equality wrap up: a list of stupid arguments I’ve heard against same-sex marriage….and my rebuttals. 

1. G-D made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. 
This might be the dumbest response to SSM. First of all when you have to resort to rhyming to prove that SSM is wrong, you’ve already lost the argument. G-D also made Adam and Eve a certain color. Let’s say they were purple. I’m not purple, you’re not purple so are we somehow bad because we weren’t in the original blueprint? Shut up with that!
2. We are one nation under G-D
If you believe in the theory of 1 G-D aren’t all the nations…like all of them….under G-D! Does that exempt and or permit us to deny someone to marry who they please? Weren’t we one nation under G-D when slavery was going on? Oh no, we weren’t. That “under G-D” line was added in 1954 under Eisenhower’s urging so that doesn’t count right? Oh but wait, we were one nation under G-D during Jim Crow and segregation and separate but equal right? How is this different?
3. We were put on earth to multiply. Gay people can’t have children that’s how we KNOW that’s not what G-D wants. 
Can someone please get this same message to couples who can’t have children, couples who choose not to have children, people who choose not to get married, couples using fertility (because even though G-D Adam and Eve He did NOT make in-vitro) and couples whose children have died…..YOUR LIFE IS NOT WHAT G-D WANTS BECAUSE YOU CANNOT OR CHOOSE NOT TO HAVE BABIES! How stupid is that? Do you know how many SSCs adopt children and have children? PLENTY! I personally know two gay women who took in children who would have otherwise been lost or dead today!
4. G-D can’t get the Glory from that. 
G-D said He’ll make the rocks cry out if you and I choose not to glorify Him. Clearly He can get the glory out of whatever the hell He please. He’s G-D like that!! I’ve seen G-D get the glory out of a crack head’s life….he is ABLE! I’ve seen plenty SSCs raising wonderful children and doing wonderful things with their lives. You think G-D isn’t getting glory out of it? CHILLLLE PUHLEEZE! What about that baby you had before you got married? Did G-D get glory from that? Yea, shut up!
5. I don’t hate gay people I hate their sin. 
I got my own sins to hate. They are numerous. How do I have time to even think about hating someone else’s sin? What’s that you say? I don’t have time! Well neither do you!
6. I support the traditional definition of marriage. 
Ok. I’m 100% positive GLBTI people support the traditional definition of marriage as well. They’re not asking you to get gay married. That’s not the argument. The argument is that if Adam and Steve decide to spend their lives together as husband and husband that they a) can legally do so and b) they be entitled to every benefit Adam and Eve are entitled to under the laws of the land. Again nobody is going to make you get gay married!
7.  If we start letting them get married then people will want to marry all types of things like animals and chairs. 
Oh yes because chairs and animals are just like people. I remember in college I fell in love with this chair. It enjoyed long walks in the park, candlelight dinners and back rubs. We broke up though because we knew our love could never be accepted. That argument doesn’t even begin to hold up! Can a chair give consent? Until it can, GTFOH with that. 
8.  I just can’t deviate from G-D’s word on this. 
This is not a G-D’s word issue. This has to do with legal rights. The church does not and cannot run the government. Likewise, the government does not run the church. You realize people can get married at the courthouse and the church house? Since that’s the case you should be able to see that marriage is both holy matrimony AND a legal partnership. But here’s what’s a trip, your marriage has to be legal in order for you receive the legal benefits. Try to say your marriage is legal without that marriage license. Hmmmm…so in essence we’ve already accepted that marriage is more than holy matrimony. But not for Susan and Alesha?
9. I’m just trying to lead people to Christ.
Are you assuming that gay people don’t have Christ? There are plenty of gay Christians. Oh I see, they’re sin is greater than yours. Deeper. Uglier. More perverse. Jesus died for your trash but not theirs? You know when Jesus was on the cross and he said tetelestai? That means, it is finished or fulfilled. That made our salvation complete. He died for all. Every sin. Past. Present. Future. I dare not go into an entire lesson on the certainty of salvation.  I’ve gone off a bit but tell me this…do you think people are led to Christ by you saying their lives are wrong? If I weren’t a Christians I don’t know if many modern day Christians could lead me to their Christ. Jesus talked down on “churchy people” more than he the people society thought were not good enough. So that very same stone you’re throwing will boomerang right on back to you!
In closing, I’ll steal the words from a friend of mine. “Jesus said more about divorce than than he did gay people….at what point will Christians start picketing divorce courts?”